New Journal...
I feel the need to rant. Which is rare for me.. Since I despise journals.
*sigh*
Basically, I think I need some advice. I'm in love with someone. Unrequited I think... I'm not sure if it will stay this way or not. But just, if I can't have him, I'd rather be alone. These feelings seriously scare me. I mean like... I've felt this way for almost a year now. And everytime I realize how strong my feelings are for him, I get too scared to confess them to him because I'm afraid of just getting rejected. I don't know what to do. I want to tell him so badly how I feel. Yet, I also feel... like the distance between us puts a damper on our relationship. But if I feel this strongly, would distance really matter..? Because I know that if he was mine, I would do everything in my power to keep him happy... Gah, it feels like such a mess. >.< "I'm obsessed and stressed with this mess. I can't think of things, to write down, to type down. And these fingertips are moving faster than these lips. So you can only imagine how jealous my mouth is. So you can only imagine how jealous my mouth is" (From the song "Risque" by Cute Is What We Aim For) Those few lyrics are kind of how I really feel. But god there are so many songs that make me think about him. Gosh, I just need advice... To figure out everything. Someone talk to me so I can try and figure this mess out. >.<
Well, if he reads this journal. I wonder if he will know it's him.
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Here's a song that well, reminds me of him. lol
"On The Safest Ledge" by Copeland
[link]The lyrics:
"Don't look ahead, just run to me
Each step will find the next one recklessly
We'll find ourselves on the safest ledge
Well pardon me, I couldn't help myself
Girl, fall into your life here
If only for a while, I'm here
Could you be happy to fall like a stone
If you'd land right here safe in my arms?
It's fine, lock all your doors through the night
Keep it all right here, safe in my arms
It's fine, it's fine
You felt alone before you ever really knew how alone you were
An empty house, a lonely room
The TV talks the fear right out of you
But you feel like someone's standing by but you'll never know
Could you be happy to fall like a stone
If you'd land right here safe in my arms?
It's fine, lock all your doors through the night
Keep it all right here, safe in my arms
It's fine
The sun burns a hole straight through your old flaws
If you look toward the sky even on your greyest night
Could you be happy now, with the wind in your hair
And your eyes open wide and your feet going nowhere?
Could you be happy to fall like a stone
If you'd land right here safe in my arms?
It's fine, lock all your doors through the night
Keep it all right here, safe in my arms
It's fine..."
Basically to me this song is 'about a relationship that you really don't know what's going to happen but you just have to embrace it and hope that everything turns out right. It's like just falling with no regrets, or inhibitions and you may be scared but you'll feel comforted in the end.' That's really something I want him to know... As in, the meaning of the song and this song in general. But just by it's meaning, I'm hoping for the best possible outcome (him to be mine, and not be afraid to fall 'like a stone' and land safe here in my arms).
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My best friends for life (Ily to you both!!): ~
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Close but not close enough friends (my bestie friends 8D): 
My amazing friends that need to get to know me better (that is if they wanna be moved up in my friend list O: ) : 
Clubs I am in: 
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STAMPS!!
inono Dx
Hope
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Tired
Distressed
Bitter
Longing
